What did Eve Actually Want?

This week I was wishing I could hear a 20/20 interview. A Barbara Walters exclusive where she interviewed Eve and got into her mind a bit. I imagine it would go something like this: Eve would walk in, wearing a very fashionable suit made of fig leaves, maybe with a fur wrap. Barbara would welcome her and then recount the story out of Genesis 2: 3-6

Now the serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals the Lord God had made. He said to the woman, “Did God really say, ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden’?”

The woman said to the serpent, “We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden,  but God did say, ‘You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you will die.’”

“You will not certainly die,” the serpent said to the woman. 5 “For God knows that when you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.”

When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it. Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves.

Then Barbara would pause dramatically, turn to Eve and say “ Eve, can you tell me what was going through your mind in the encounter with Satan that day? What exactly was it that you were desiring?

And I can see Eve, shamefully, maybe wistfully summing it up with one statement.. “you know Barbara, I just wanted more. I thought God was holding out on me and I wanted more. So I took matters into my own hands

As Eve would continue into the saga of the fallen world, I imagine that Barbara would ask Eve, Why she ate the fruit? What was her motivation and what was so enticing to her about the conversation with Satan? And Eve might recount a list that looked something like this:

• Pursuit of Life : “You will not surely Die” (vs 4)
• Experience/Adventure: “Your eyes will be opened” (vs 5)
• Power/Purpose/Godliness: “You will be like God” (vs 5)
• Knowledge/Discernment: “Knowing Good and Evil” (vs 5)
• Fulfillment/Security: “Saw the fruit was good for food” (vs 6)
• Beauty/Pleasure: “Pleasing to the Eye” (vs 6)
• Wisdom: “Desireable for gaining wisdom” (vs 6)

Barbara might then ask a few more questions and then talk about how the 20/20 staff tried to contact satan to give his side, but that his office refused to comment.

I can hear her closing monologue: “There you have it folks, Eve speaking up about her fear, her desires away from God’s plan, how she regrets her decisions and how wanting more gave her a tragic life of less. And then the 60 minutes clock pops up, ticking away to a commercial break.

Kind of funny to think about, but doesn't this fake interview ring true for women?

As I look at this list, I think, these things are actually great desires! She wanted all she could get out of life...life to the full! I can see why she fell hard for this sales pitch.

The thing that made it such a tragedy is that just like when satan tempted Jesus in the Garden, the things satan actually offered to Eve, were not his to give. True to his nature, he is a liar that promised a life of more... but when it really came down to it, He was like a used car salesman that scammed her. She thought if she could just gain control or an edge on these things, her life would really matter! Yet, choosing something apart from God’s plan always has the illusion of more but in reality ....results in so much less.

Tragically, Satan convinces us to take control of our own lives, when really when we listen to him, we hand him control rather than God. And women, In their attempt to be strong, have actually been weakened to believe that life apart from God is really life. And the freedom they long for is actually being enslaved to Satan and his schemes.

And Satan is not creative. He has enticed women with this same list of things for centuries.

As I’ve read through lots of documents this week, one that particular struck me was the webpage for the National Women’s Liberation Organization. Under the section “What we want”, I almost can see a serpent enticing and convincing them of the same things. Bullet points of “We want to be loved and respected for who we are as people” and “We Want women’s lives, ideas, desires and dreams to be no less important than mens,” and "We want control over our own bodies and Lives" shows me that women have some of the same desires Eve had, but find it by using a strategy that looks inward and to themselves not upward to Jesus to accomplish these goals.

The Irony in all of this is that Eve failed to see that the exact things she longed for, God already offered her in abundance with the life he had designed for her. Look at that list again? Life, adventure, purpose, knowledge, fulfillment, beauty wisdom! Oh how we all long for these things. These are some of the exact “riches of Christ’s Grace” that we gain in our relationship with him!

I hate satan for wreaking havoc on women like this. I want us to see the beautiful amazing life and purpose and adventure and privilege it is to be a woman. A strong woman of God, living out of her God given design and not a weakened woman by the deception of satan in the world.

Over the next few weeks, I am going to post 7 different blogs talking about the attributes that distinguish a wimpy woman, lessened by satan’s schemes from a woman of strength, designed by the God of strength.

This blog brought to you in part by strong USF Navigator Women and Cadbury eggs. Both that bring a bit of sweetness to life.

Self Control: Hold that Cake or Punch a Soldier (Character Trait #8)

About a month ago, I went to a "Hair-cutting Party" at my mom's long time best friends' house, Christine and Gary. "Hair-cutting parties" consist of our two families meeting at Chris and Gary's house where Margie, the amazing-formal hair stylist gone teacher, reverts back to her hair-cutting days while we all eat breakfast, get our haircuts and talk about life. We've been doing this for the last 25 years of my life, once every 6 weeks.

The last hair-cutting party included a reminiscent wedding story of Chris and Gary's wedding day, so many odd years ago.

Gary recounted how He, his bride, and his groomsmen went to pick up the most expensive thing that they could afford for the wedding (their cake) from the local grocery store. Chris and Gary, though connected to the military, were almost-hippies (as much as a daughter of a Marine and the boyfriend of the daughter of a Marine could safely be without getting shot by that very Marine.)

While they were waiting in line, two young marines stood behind them, making snide comments about their long hippie hair. The way I picture it is they probably had mustaches too. And bell-bottoms with burnt orange shirts, partially buttoned. While Gary held the cake, one of the guys, bumped him, sending him lurching forward with the cake in hand that they had spent their savings on. While Gary steadied the cake, his friend lost control and decked the officers until an all out brawl occurred..

Gary said he stood there, with a bazillion thoughts in his brain. Drop the cake and help? Hold the cake and wait? Eat the Frosting ? (he didn't say that..but I would have thought about it). What should he do? Turns out he held that cake with all the self control a young hippie guy could muster., motivated only by his knowledge of what would happen if his young bride came over from the flower section and saw the cake smashed on the floor around two marine casualties. So he stood, watching his football-player-sized buddy beat up the Marines. Gary held that cake for what seemed like an eternity until the grocery store manager broke up the fight.

In a weird way, this reminds me of Jesus.

In the last few days of his life, he could have sent fire to smite the Pharisees who bumped into him, killed the soldiers who attacked him using the power of heaven,  or destroyed the cross with one word to avoid his imminent death. Yet he didn't. Why?

Hebrews 12:2 says that "because of the joy set before him, [He] endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of God."

Was it just self discipline? Or was their more to it.

Just like Gary, Jesus held his position on the cross, for the joy set before Him, a glorious wedding. But this was not an ordinary wedding. And this was not just a cake he was holding. This was a wedding to the Church, people who would be reconciled to His Father, bought at a price, and  forgiven by his follow through on the "Joy" set before him. This was a cross, not a cake, that he held fast to., for the joy of a relationship with us for eternity.


And because of Christ, we also can live self-controlled lives, motivated by the "joy" set before us of honoring our Savior.

In Yeakley's book, I am struck by a line in the self-control chapter.

"Self control really means being filled and controlled by the Holy Spirit. Self control sees temptation and says no because of a desire to please Christ, honor Him with our lives, and live in obedience to His commands."

Further, Yeakley explains that in leadership especially, self control  is tested by a leader's use of power.

Thinking on Jesus, he did not use His power for selfish gain, to hold it over others heads, or label others as
insubordinate. He did not give feedback in outbursts of anger or with a desire to embarrass or tear down the disciples. He was not critical to gain more power. Rather, he "did not think equality with God was something to be grasped" (Phil 3) even though he was, in fact, God. He exercised self-control for the sake of the love of his people and for the love of his Father. And, can I not do the same, because of his love for me?

These are convicting thoughts. Oh, that I would act in life with a self-controlled, or rather a Spirit-controlled stance. One unshaken by a little taunting from the enemy. One that eagerly expects the future joy rather than dropping everything on immediate reactionary experience . One that speaks life into others, rather than tears them down in a moment. One that loves Jesus in how I love others, controlled by Him alone.

Ephesians 6:13 says "Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand." I will hold my stance, like Gary, and more so, like Jesus as I wait for the long term joy, an inheritance and a room in heaven, near my King.  I will stand my ground, and after everything, stand, by the strength and power of the Holy Spirit.

This Blog brought to you by The Beatles Smash Hit, "Help," which I'm pretty soon could have been the soundtrack for Gary's panic in the Grocery Store that day as he waited for the manager to break up the frosting-free fight,

Patience in a World of "Now"- (Character Trait #7)

We live in a world  that has a vocabulary of "Now." Everything from texting, to fast food, to instant weight loss, to express mail. The world is screaming "Now, not later. I don't want to wait, I want what I want when I want it. ASAP. Instantly. Right now." And for the most part, we can function this way, at least in America.

 

It reminds me of Veruca Salt in the 1970's popular, albiet creepy movie "Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory." I can see the world functioning to the soundtrack of Veruca's hoity-toity British accent saying "Daddy, I want a Golden Egg and I want it now," complete with the Oompa Loompas singing in the background. 

 

(It's ok, You can laugh a little. I did in the middle of the coffee shop where I'm writing this blog)

 

Yeakley's chapter on patience is titled; "Patience: When God's timing doesn't fit your schedule."  

 

Yep! That title was a heart piercer to a "now" society citizen. Yeakley describes his own patience journey as a difficult growing period. It came as He and his wife anticipated visas for a mission placement overseas in Indonesia. They thought it would take 6 months. Instead, it took 3 years.

Yeakley states that in this time he learned that in waiting "God is teaching us that we are to run the race HE marks out for us, not the course we determine ourselves and then ask him to bless." Also, that God "places us in situations that seem to be detours to fulfilling our destiny in order to develop us into Christlike character necessary to the tasks He entrusts to us." This development of our character is far more important than our time tables in God's book.

 

  And how true is it that the best things in life are the most waited for? That in the long run, I'd rather wait on some things, than have it instantly. If we stop listening to the "Now" venacular of the world, and tune our ears to our great God, we can truthfully say "instant" doesn't always equal quality, and waiting, though not easy, often comes out with a better outcome than if we expressly created what we want. 

The trick is having patience in the waiting and to put trust in  God for his plan, not mine. I like this quote:

 

“Patience is waiting. Not passively waiting. That is laziness. But to keep going when the going is hard and slow - that is patience.” ~Anonymous.

 

In observing people's lives, I see waiting in many ways. Waiting in relationships. Waiting for "the one." Waiting for the wedding. Waiting for the pregnancy. Waiting for the baby. I've seen it in ministry in waiting for people to return to God. Waiting for character to develop. Waiting for people to know Jesus for the first time.

Even as  I think of my own journey in patience, Ive been challenged that God is not behind schedule. I think over the last 10ish years that I've prayed for a spouse, my heart has learned patience by recognizing that a husband is not the end all be all of life.  I am being developed for God's purposes in the world, which may or may not include marriage. Though extremely hard at times, this has been God's  tool to develop my patience. And I can honestly say, I am patiently being changed to be content in this. Not content, in that I never want to be married, but content that i don't want an "express" husband that is not the best I could have if I waited on God's timing. Shout out to the Supremes! Can I just agree with you? You were right. You can't hurry Love..I'll continue to wait with a trusting heart in a patient and planning God. Why? Because I am convinced that God's a better planner of my life than I am.  I am also convinced that my singleness is a choice to exercise patience, rather than creating something on my own clock.

Another point Yeakley makes is that we should not be discouraged in the waiting period. Rushing a harvest only results in bitter, immature, or unripe fruit. But waiting on the Lord for his timing, results in beauty, success, fulfillment and life. I think of that country song that says "There might be, a little dust on the bottle, don't let it fool you about what's inside...It's one of those things that gets sweeter with time." (David Lee Murphy) The point being, sometimes the best things in life come after waiting and with a perspective that the time was not wasted, but resulted in a sweeter, fuller life and gift.

So don't be discouraged in your waiting! Let the Lord develop patience in you, so you can look more like Him.  Actively seek the one that promises to be with you in the waiting. Know that the waiting is for our character and good, and that we are in a marathon not a sprint. Patience is a virtue and it results in better things than the world's express services has to offer.

This Blog brought to you by Everlasting Gobstoppers, because I mean, how can we not acknowledge how rad it is that they are a candy and a gum.

 

Faith: Mark, Moving and Mustard (Character Trait #6)

This week I've been reading Timothy Keller's Book King's Cross: The Story of the World in the Life of Jesus. In chapter 10, Keller references Mark 9:20-24. A man, desiring desperately for his son to be healed of being hurt and tormented by a demon, begs Jesus to heal his son, "if he can." 

Jesus, the Son of God in which all things were created and by which all things hold together. Jesus, the savior of a dying world; a savior that goes on to conquer sin, death and satan himself. Jesus, who walked on water and transformed the world in just 33 short years of life and transformed eternity forever. That Jesus. Of course, this Jesus is able.

But somewhere in this man's heart, doubt crept in. In a desperate plea he calls out "I do believe...help me overcome my unbelief." Keller says that the father is basically saying "I'm not faithful, I'm riddled with doubts...but help me."

Keller then says something that also sticks out to me from Yeakley's chapter on faith:

"We don't need perfect righteousness, just repentent helplessness, to access the presence of God." (Keller)

"The amount of Faith does not determine whether God answers our prayers, for it is the object of our faith, God himself, who determines the outcome." (Yeakley).  

Basically, Yeakley and Keller are both saying its not about how big my faith is, but how reliable and sure is the one my faith is in. Its not about if my faith is as tiny as a mustard seed or as great as a mountain. What matters is the faithfulness of the one my faith is in, that is Jesus Christ.

Yeakley also describes faith as a muscle. The more we exercise it, the more it grows as we see God's faithfulness. I think of all the people from Hebrews 11, specifically Abraham in this.

Abraham, "obeyed and went, even though he did not know where he was going." (Heb 11:8) I can only imagine that Abraham had doubts, fears, what ifs and a desire to make a back-up plan or go out and a the very least, buy a proverbial GPS. Or better yet, not move. Stay with what he knew. But he didn't. He believed God was faithful, so he walked. He packed up the wife, the camels, and the tent and he left. Why? Because he trusted, not himself, but the Faithful one.

I talked to a friend today, who, like Abraham, did just this. After almost a year of job-hunting with no leads, they made a decision to trust God and move. Her newly bar-certified law graduate husband and her made a decision to trust God and move accross country to where job opportunites may become available for her them. They obeyed, and went, even though they didn't know where they were going. Technically,, they did know the location. But they didn't know what would happen. Still don't. Will he get the job he's been waiting for? Or will there be a different opportunity? Will they find community like they had in their city before? Will they have as great of an impact on the homeless or on other people that they loved helping in the big city? But as these friends trust God for a job. they are excercising and acting not based on logic or fear, but based on the character and the promises of God.

God, the promise fulfiller. God, the creator of their lives, who knows what each of their days held before birth. God, the one who loves them enough to give them not only his only Son for their ransom, but graciously, everything else. God, the one who owns the cattle on a thousand hills and wants to richly lavish his love on his children. That God. He of course, can meet the needs of this couple. As well as fulfill his promises to them.

And they exercised their muscles of faith in a huge way. Its something I marvel at, admire, and respect with the upmost honor. Upon hearing these friends news, I felt like my heart did a little dougie dance at seeing their trust and confidence in the promise giver, not in their abilities. Oh for faith like this! It makes me see moving mountains in the distance.

That is what it means to walk by faith, and not by sight. (2 Cor 5:7)

I pray, that I too, would not stay back out of fear, doubt or lack of understanding, or pride.  But in faith,  I would Walk. Follow. Stand. Look for. Go. And exercise faith out of a trust in the promise giver and fulfiller.

This blog brought to you by French's Yellow Mustard, cause after all, faith as small as a mustard seed, can really move mountains.

Purity: Avoiding Golden Apples for the Greater Prize (Character trait #5)

Hippomenes was a mythical Greek young man in love with the beautiful Atlanta, known for her speed. In order to win Atlanta over, Hippomenes had to beat her in a race. As they raced, Hippomenes threw Golden Apples out, one by one, to which Atlanta would stop, pick it up and admire it and tuck it away in her tunic. She reasoned that she certainly could pick up the golden apples, and still finish the race. In the end, Hippomenes beats her and she loses.


Tom Yeakley opens his chapter on Purity with this story, equating it to the "enemy of our souls rolling 'golden apples' of deception, compromise, and sexual temptation in our path...causing many to fail to finish the race set out for them [by the Lord]".


He also goes on to say how the "heart (soul) is the seat of our mind, will and emotions. Sow a thought, reap an action. Sow an action, reap a habit. Sow a habit, reap a life. How true this statement is.

So purity starts with us and God. Watching what we think about, and how we act on it.  Maybe it means reading less chic-lit and more Bible. Maybe it means watching "The Blind Side" and not the "Proposal." Maybe it just means connecting our hearts more to God than to activities, things, etc. That we would be closer to Jesus and live more like him.

Of course purity spans from the personal level to the relational level too. I've been talking to women recently about how purity is a choice. Its not something we don't have a say in. We choose to live with our mind out of the  gutter and focused on truth. And it also goes deeper than skin deep. Purity starts in the heart and has to be motivated out of love. Love for what or whom you may ask? Love for Christ. He is really the only thing that makes a desire for purity, well, pure.

Since I'm a single lady, and I work with mostly single ladies, I'm going to address something that I see as a singleton in the area of purity.

I've been thinking of is how purity for men and purity for woman can look different in the temptations we avoid. Though I don't want to put us all in boxes, I would say, from the statistics I've heard, often men's struggles in purity are in the area of physical lust. For single women, more than men, I think emotional lust is one of our biggest downfalls,. We can actually meet a man, and in less than 5.2 seconds we have emotionally taken a dive into the deep end, where we see our wedding dress, our kids names, and what our future home looks like. Though innocent as it seems, this can cause us to have unhealthy expectations on men who really are just acquaintances or friends, not boyfriends or husband.

Scenario (not so made-up...and by not-so made up, I mean I see this at least once a month)

Girl sees guy friend  across the room at a college ministry meeting. Girl decided last week in her heart, he is my future husband. Guy across the room is so focused on his pizza, his buddies, and his plans for basketball or school or work for the week that he doesn't get a chance to talk to girl across the room. Girl across the room waits patiently, talks with other people, and eventually leaves in a huff. She bad mouths the guy or at least thinks in her heart "What a jerk." "He didn't even acknowledge me." Girl avoids guy for the next few weeks and guy wonders "what happened?"

Pause.

Question.
When did guy friend across the room go from future husband to jerk-face?

Answer:
When girl across the room claimed her as husband and put husband expectations on a guy that innocently thinks "but we are at friend level."

Now if in real life a husband did not acknowledge his wife, after a long day apart, that would be something  where we might think the title jerk is true. But in this case, its a bad case of emotional lust.

Ladies, Let's not let "golden apples" being thrown into our path actually trip us up. Better yet, let's not be throwing the apples, which can come in the form of immodesty, manipulation, as well as other ways. And let's not let our minds dive deeper with our brothers than is pure. And may we live believing that Jesus is enough of a reason to stay pure and live purely, for he is pure, and this only can incline our hearts closer to his.

This Blog brought to you by Phil 4:8:

Finally,...whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise,

think about these things.

Anticipating needs: Servanthood (Character Trait #4)

Once in college, I had a roommate who told me how she was convicted on being open to interruptions like Jesus. Vanessa talked about how planning in advance is good, but only so that it would create space in your schedule for Jesus to interrupt your plans. Maybe he has an event or person scheduled on His calendar for your day that you didn't know about. Vanessa started practicing being open to interruptions so she could serve the Lord and people better.

Tom Yeakley addresses this idea in his chapter on Servanthood.  He quotes Andy Standley in the book asking

"Are you a servant who leads, or a leader who serves?" 

He goes on to say that leadership is a role, not an identity, but being a servant is our identity, given when we followed the one who didn't come to be served. (Mark 10:45) A servant doesn't demand to be helped but anticipates the needs of others and steps in where they see the need.

Leaders take initiative and don't look for recognition. They will seek God and help others seek God, rather than telling people our own thoughts on  how to act. They also always seek to promote those around them. To be selfish does not demonstrate servanthood.

Maybe it means asking questions in a conversation, rather than rattling on about my day. Maybe it means moving chairs for a meeting before the leader comes in. Maybe its answering the phone on my "day off" to help a friend in need. Maybe its doing a load of laundry during downtime so I can be open to the "Want to get dinner and catch up tonight?" friend.

In my time in campus ministry, there are two people that stand out to me as servants that lead like this. The first guy is Mr. Sound Guy from the Mid-west and the second is Band Equipment Man from the Sunshine State. Both Mr. Sound Guy and Band Equipment Man anticipated the needs of our large group meetings. Both gave up 1-2 hours before or after a meeting to haul equipment, set up, tear down, tune instruments, and untangle chords. Both didn't ever want recognition, and when you'd give it, they would include the people that served them.

I also recently witnessed this at a National Conference for our ministry. The President of our international Christian ministry gave a message to the 4000+ crowd of ministering staff about having child like faith.

He said, as children, we never should anticipate that the solution to our issues, questions, problems starts with us. He then initiated a time of prayer. One of the most touching things to me was when he left the stage, and stood among the other servant leader prayer warriors around the room. He blended in as a servant. He prayed with new staff, old staff, people much younger than him, people more experienced than him. Either way, his main role that night was to pray, not preach. And his main method, was as a servant, not a leader.

Oh that I would be a woman that anticipates the needs, plans ahead, and humbly steps off the stage for the servant, submitted under the only wise King.

This Blog Brought to you in honor of Sound Guy and Band Man, both of whom have served and led faithfully.

Humility: Humble Pie (Character Trait #3)

Scanning through Pinterest (my unfortunate, tragic, yet amazing new time wasting interest), I came across this quote and laughed, almost spewing coffee all over my Mac... "I'm Awesome at Being Humble."

Though I wouldn't ever really say this out loud, I realized this week that my brain sometimes thinks this. Really, such an evidence of pride in my life.

Pride. This thing keeps coming up. In the Bible Study with students on campus, in my discipleship time, during sermons, through quotes, its everywhere. Being an advertising major, I get it. God is advertising the great character trait of Humility, and I am sitting up and taking note. God, as always, has skillfully broken through the clutter of the world, and revealed a pithy and true message to my life this week, and I, like a good consumer, am convinced that I need it.

Micah 6:8-He has told you, O man, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?

What does the Lord require? To walk humbly with your God. The God that claims me. The God that doesn't need me for his work. yet because he loves me dearly, includes me. The God whom I serve and who I need, and who calls me his own.  

That's it. 

I've been realizing this week, that I add to what the Lord requires. I add being more holy, having a successful ministry, leaving a legacy and impact, reaching the world, changing hearts and lives, giving spiritual wisdom and guidance., knowing more of the Bible, planning an amazing future. Focus like this causes pride to seep. I actually believe I can do all these things, whether Christ strengthens me or not. Whether my life is hidden in Christ, or not. Whether I'm a part of the vine or not. Oh that terrible illusion of pride that I can do it alone!

C.J. Mahaney defines humility as “honestly assessing ourselves in light of God’s holiness and our sinfulness.”  

Taking an honest assessment of my life, I realize, that pride seeps rears its ugly head in ways that make me boast about my strengths, not my weaknesses, and then hide when I am weak. It makes me try to prove I'm right, instead of loving others well.  It makes me critical and comparative, either thinking I'm too great, or thinking I'm so below that standard that even self focused inadequacy becomes pride. 

I also realized something else. Its easier to be humble when success has happened in your life and harder when life serves you disappointment or heartache or failure. This week, through a series of events, I felt like a failure at things I'm normally a pro at. And, because I didn't humble myself before Him, God, in his gracious love, humbled me. He reminded me, Ministry is not about ministry success, its about Jesus.

If Jesus is not my focus, I'm living a skewed view of the life of grace given to me in Jesus redemptive work on the Cross.

Though working on all those things listed above can be a good thing, if its done for my glory, it means nothing. If my life is truly now hidden in Christ, I will reflect Christ, not myself, and really, would rather people see Him than my ugly pride anyway. I think I’m starting to buy into and understand humility.

Here’s what Tom Yeakley's book on Kingdom Character regarding Humility says:

• Humility is the doorway to growing in Grace. Grace is not freedom to do as we want, but power to live as we ought.
• Prayer acknowledges that we can't do something on our own.
• Measuring and counting results, though not always sinful, can reflect pride in our lives.
• If we are fearful that God may ask of us something that would be difficult, we show a lack of understanding in our identity.
• When we are praised or complimented..."Thank you for the compliment" or "Thanks for those kind words" will go a long way to develop humility and keep the focus where it should be.

So I'm left with this slogan branded in my brain.  “What does the Lord require? To walk Humbly with your God.”  

Here I am, on the path of humbleness, fueled by Christ. One day I will look at life, and really not see myself at all, but only Jesus. Not because of me, but because of his transforming power. 

And I think I should re-post the Pinterest quote but change it to this:

God is Awesome at Humbling Me.

Put that on a T-Shirt and wear it to the county fair.

This Blog Brought to you by Jesus and Ice Cream,  both of which go great with a slice of humble pie.

Integrity: Giving back that piece of Robe (Character Trait #2)

 According to the Merriam-Webster online dictionary, Integrity is currently in the top 1% of words looked up and is the 14th most popular word on Merriam-Webster.com. Why is that? I think it's because people want to see integrity, they want to have integrity, but it's not always an easy word to define.


According to the Growing Kingdom Character book by Tom Yeakley, it is who you are when you think you are alone, or consistency regardless of context.  In my own definition, it is the consistency of your character that causes people to trust your leadership.

For someone that follows Jesus though, I think its not only integrity with people, it means integrity with God. After all, God sees everything and knows our heart. Acts 24:16 says, "So I strive always to keep my conscience clear before God and man."

Yeakley put out some challenging questions and statements.  Here are a few things that I'm challenged by from his writing and what I've learned about integrity:

• Are you a person who keeps your word?
• Are you developing behavior patterns of integrity or dishonesty in life? 
• When you say you will call people back, do you?
• Do you embellish stories in ministry to make them sound better or put a great spin on them?
• Are you verbal processor? If you are when you discuss things regarding decisions or people that leave the impression that others view as a firm decision or let them know with a disclaimer that you are processing?
• Dishonesty in the small, daily issues of life can create a character flaw that eliminates us from finishing well.

As I studied this, I also studied the story of  David sparing Saul in the cave. In this story, Saul is trying to kill David because of jealousy over his favor with the people. Saul enters a cave to relieve himself (sometimes the Bible cracks me up) and it happens to be the same cave that David and his men are hiding in. David cuts off a piece of Saul's robe at the urging of the men loyal to David. Afterward, the Bible says "David was conscience-stricken for having cut off a corner of his robe." So he goes out and talks to Saul and reasons with Him to the point that Saul is convicted and says "“You are more righteous than I."

This shows me a couple things. Integrity does count in the little things. Integrity is something that gets to peoples hearts. Integrity has to come by acting on the promptings of the Holy Spirit to do the right thing, say the right thing, and act in honesty in the right way.  And a man of integrity can be trusted as a leader.

I pray that the Lord would move me to be sensitive to the promptings of the Spirit to act rightly. I pray that integrity would be how I lead. That one day they might say about me what they said about David. That I shepherded the women on campus with integrity of heart; with skillful hands he led them.

The other thing that has been neat in this journey is that I feel like God keeps sending me back to life school in some ways. I read these things, and I think "Ay yi yi, I have so far to go to have this kind of integrity.

But the Holy Spirit prompts my heart saying "That's not the point. What I want you to know, dear girl,  is that I lead you like this. I lead you with honesty, With complete integrity. I follow up and follow through well. I am consistent to lead you in all contexts the same. And that does make me want to follow Him and Trust Him. And it starts to make me see how Integrity is so important to the character of a leader.


This Blog brought to you by a little piece of Robe returned by David.

Love:Sacrifice Required (Character Trait #1)

This week I watched a movie called "Paper Heart."  Set up documentary style, Charlene Yi is on a quest to discover what love really is. She interviews all sorts of crazy characters and eventually falls in love herself with Michael Cera (that kid from Juno). Though entertaining, it wasn't the best movie ever, but it did have a quote that stood out to me in light of studying "Love" as the first character trait in Tom Yeakley's book. The quote was given by an author who writes romance novels. Not that I think romance novel writers are anywhere near knowledgeable on love, but I think this one in particular was on to something:

"In an 'HEA ending'... happily ever after...There's always something where the characters are sacrificing...one is sacrificing for the other and that's their sign that they're really in love with that person. So at some point the character has to make some kind of a personal sacrifice..."

Well said, romance novel lady, well said. 


Isn't their something in the human spirit that recognizes that real love cannot exist without sacrifice? Not just romantic love, but all love. The reason being is sacrifice equals selflessness and the opposite characteristic of  selfishness seeks only what can be gained for one's own good rather than thinking of the other person. That is not love. But a heart that truly loves others will sacrifice for the other person. After all, isn't that the example of Christ's love for us?  Wasn't he the ultimate sacrificing of self for our life to come ? And isn't He the one who IS love to start with?

The apostle Paul should have been in that documentary. I mean, that guy had a lot to say about love. As I studied 1 Corinthians 13 as part of my research on love in leadership, I was blown away by the Amplified version of this passage. Some of the phrases cut to the heart, i mean things like 

• "if I have [sufficient] faith so that I can remove mountains, but have not love (God's love in me) I am nothing (a useless nobody).
• Love endures long and is patient and kind; 
• Love never is envious nor boils over with jealousy, 
• Love is not boastful or vainglorious, does not display itself haughtily.
• Love is not conceited (arrogant and inflated with pride); 
• Love is not rude (unmannerly) and does not act unbecomingly. 
• Love (God's love in us) does not insist on its own rights or its own way, for it is not self-seeking;
• Love is not touchy or fretful or resentful; 
• Love takes no account of the evil done to it [it pays no attention to a suffered wrong].
• Love does not rejoice at injustice and unrighteousness, but rejoices when right and truth prevail.
• Love bears up under anything and everything that comes.
• Love is ever ready to believe the best of every person, its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances, and it endures everything [without weakening].
• Love never fails, never fades out or becomes obsolete or comes to an end. 

Wow. Complete and utter conviction on the pride and the believing the best of others. But the encouraging thing to me was that throughout that passage God reminded me that the word love could be substituted for "God's love in us." How true that I can't love like this without Christ in me! And how amazing that all these things mentioned above is how God loves those who know and follow Him. 


And speaking of following, Yeakley's made some great points on love and leadership.

"Leaders who love will always seek the highest good for other people instead of using them as tools to accomplish a goal."

This point is so true! Likewise, Yeakley says that:

"Leaders who lack love tend to have a performance based value system rather than a love-based system built on the Grace of God."

As a leader in a ministry, I need to really take into account my heart and my motive. Is my goal only to have successful Bible Studies, people "doing" campus ministry well? Or am I basing my goals on sacrificing for the good of those I lead, desiring the best for those that are growing, and being with them even if campus goals don't get met. Goals are not nearly as important as people.

And truth be told, the leader's I've wanted to follow have not been the ones that have taught me tons of ministry skills, or been impressive by their ministry knowledge. But they've been the ones that loved God well, held goals with an open hand, and loved me through sacrificing things to help me in the process.

"If we focus our life on love, our leadership will be honoring to God and attractive to others." ~Tom Yeakley

As I've processed this, I realize sacrifice it so key to loving well those around us. I'm challenged to think, how can I sacrifice more for my family, the girls I disciple, my friends?  How can I encourage and build up with a value for the person, not a value for what they accomplish? How do I react if something or someone fails? How do I receive the prodical when they've run? I have a choice, to look for my gain, or to sacrifice for their gain.

I am challenged by my lack of love in evidence in my selfishness, but encouraged that God's love in me will have a positive impact on the world.. And ultimately it always comes back to looking into the face of Jesus, the one who defined love by sacrifice, and asking for wisdom to be more like Him. I mean after all, I can bank on it, cause love, or rather God's love in me, never fails, becomes obsolete or fades out to ending. And that is something worth seeking after.

This blog brought to you by Romance Novel Lady and her bright pink Barbuchi lipstick.

Character in Leadership: Post 1 (Intro)

A few weeks ago I was given the book "Growing Kingdom Character" by Tom Yeakley, a man who has coached and developed leaders for more than 30 years internationally, focusing on Christ-like character.

 The book starts with talking about how important character is more important than skills acquired in leadership. That its the character of a person, not skill development that is the most strategic focus of growing in leadership. It then goes chapter by chapter with different leadership qualities.

Yeakley state that the foundational character qualities are

• Love
• Integrity
• Humility
• Servanthood

The supporting character qualities are:

• Purity
• Faith
• Patience
• Self Control
• Teachability
• Courage.

As I explore each one of these by reading the chapter, exploring the verses through a study in the book, praying through the prayer points and excercising these qualities, I plan to share insights throughout the summer. It should be an exciting journey!

Do you agree that Character is more important than skills in leadership?


This entry brought to you by a lazy saturday where blogging just seemed like the right thing to do.